BP has come up with many NOVEL ideas for plugging the worst ecological disaster in the history of the world. The idea that I like the best would use Silly Putty to plug the hole.

BP has placed ads in comic books and placed TV commercials, on the Nickelodeon Channel. They are pleading with the Children of the World to donate new and used eggs of Silly Putty. The company has even resorted to offering coupons to any 6 to 13 year old child who sends in their putty. The coupon is valid when the recipient has reached the age of 18 and is good for a lifetime discount of 10% off of the price of gasoline. It is only valid when gasoline has reached the price of $5 per gallon. A company spokesman has stated, by the time the pre-teenagers have purchased their first tank of gas the official "scheduled" gasoline price for unleaded will be six dollars, The official prices have been agreed to by the major oil companies ten years in advance. 

If the Silly Putty Plan (SPP) does not plug the hole, the incredibly teeny tiny small print, on the back of the coupon, will go into effect.

"ALL PERSONS WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED THEIR SILLY PUTTY SHALL BE LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THE COSTS FOR THE FAILED SPP. BY BEING INVOLVED WITH A FAILED ATTEMPT TO CORRECT THE OIL LEAK, THE CONTRIBUTORS HAVE ACCEPTED FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL THE COSTS OF THE OIL CLEANUP AND  FOR THE COMPENSATION TO ALL OF THE PRIVATE CITIZENS AND GOVERNMENTAL AGENCIES THAT HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY THIS "ACT OF GOD" ACCIDENT (A.K.A. NOT THE FAULT OF BP ACCIDENT.) THE CONTRIBUTORS OF THE SILLY PUTTY WILL ALSO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REIMBURSEMENT TO BP OF ALL OF THE MONIES THAT BP HAS PAID, PRIOR TO THE TRANSFER OF RESPONSIBILITY. BP SHALL HAVE NO LEGAL OR MONETARY RESPONSIBILITIES AFTER THE TRANSFER OF RESPONSIBILITY"



In case you don't remember Silly Putty, here is an early 1960's comic book ad.




THE ARTICLE POSTED ABOVE, IS A PARODY JOKE.









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