This magazine ad for Quaker Diet Frosted Rice Puffs & Wheat Puffs was able to do more for me than any quack 
psychiatrist could ever do.. It told me why I'm FAT AND MEAN. 

The cereal was made by Quaker Oats during the 1960s, and it was frosted but not with sugar. A cup of Frosted Wheat Puffs was only 56 calories.

Well, lets get back to the important subject - ME. According to the ad copy, if somebody tries to lose weight by skipping breakfast, they will turn into a mean and fat person. Supposedly, they will eat twice as much for lunch. So, according to this ad, the reason why i'm a mean SOB is that I skip breakfast. If I start eating Diet Frosted Wheat Puffs, and/or, Diet Frosted Rice Puffs, I will magically turn into a THIN & SWEET HUMAN BEING.

Oh, CRAP. Quaker Oats stopped making the cereal. Oh, well, I have gotten used to being fat and mean.



Hey, it just occurred to me, since I'm still FAT & MEAN and Quaker Oats used a 100% EXACT LIKENESS of me for their FAT & MEAN person in the magazine ad, it is time to visit "somebody" to rectify that situation.

It's too bad Johnnie Cochran died.

I'm kidding. I'm not really FAT & MEAN. I'M FAT AND GRUMPY. Also, that picture doesn't look anything like me.

I'M SUPER HANDSOME.








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