A person's personality and appearance are a combination of genetic traits and environment. After an exhaustive search, I believe that I have discovered the reason why U.S. House Speaker Boehner has orange skin. He claims he doesn't use a bronzing agent, and he claims he doesn't use artificial light. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

I believe I have uncovered a photo of Speaker Boehner's parents, in a 1956 Life magazine advertisement. The ad is for a GE sunlamp. I'm pretty sure the man and woman are the Speaker's parents, (at least 0 percent sure) and they seem to be lovers of the color orange. Granted, the ad doesn't show the couple's true colors, (for that matter, Speaker Boehner hasn't shown his TRUE COLORS either) but the lady's facial color does come close to Speaker Boehner's facial complexion.

I have tried to confirm the connection of the GE sunlamp couple and Speaker Boehner. I have tossed a coin in the air 100 times. If the quarter had Washington's head facing up then it would have scientifically confirmed the parental connection of Boehner and his potential magazine model parents. After the 100 tosses I have come up with the absolute 100% scientific answer (at least, according to the way Repukeicans conduct scientific studies) to the parental connection of the orange sunlamp-loving magazine couple and the orange-skinned "human," who is 2nd in line to the Presidency. 

It just occurred to me, if these people are not the biological parents of Speaker Boehner, how do we know he is a true Earthling? He claims that he doesn't use artificial bronzing agents or sunlamps, but he does have an "ODD" skin color. Has anybody looked at his Birth Certificate? Even tho the Speaker of the House of Representatives does not have to be a natural born citizen, I do believe he has to be born on this PLANET. Could it be? Could Speaker Boehner be part of an invading force from a different planet? 

It seems to me there are only two scientific answers - THE SON OF A COUPLE OF GE SUN-LAMP WORSHIPPING PARENTS, OR AN ALIEN FROM ANOTHER PLANET ON A PRE-INVASION MISSION. The toss of the quarter will decide the TRUTH. 

I will let you see the ad before I reveal the results of the coin toss.   




THE COIN TOSS REVEALS THAT THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES IS:


AN ALIEN FROM ALPHA CENTAURI, AND HE IS PART OF AN INVASION FORCE TO TAKE OVER THIS PLANET.

THIS SCIENTIFIC STUDY HAS BEEN CONDUCTED WITH THE SAME DEGREE OF  ACCURACY AS ALL OF THE OTHER REPUKEICAN SPONSORED SCIENTIFIC STUDIES, WITH A DEGREE OF INACCURACY OF PLUS OR MINUS 100%







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