What great hosts Senator John Kerry & Teresa "Heinz" Kerry are. When overnight guests visit, the first thing they are handed is a laminated Heinz menu. Before taking their coats off, they are forced to check off which Heinz product that they want with each of their meals. They are instructed to perform the same procedure for each of the days that they will be visiting the famous couple. Each days menu REQUIRES a minimum of three Heinz products to be checked off. FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THE RULES WOULD BE VERY PAINFUL. Even Dick Cheney was scared SH*TLESS.

Posted below is a "borrowed" Heinz / Kerry menu board.

Please don't tell them that i "borrowed" it. I beg of you, please have mercy.











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