A DAY IN THE HISTORY OF GEORGE W. BUSH.

On July 6, 1959, George W. Bush made his parents proud for the first time in his life. On the morning of his 13th birthday, a bare-footed George W. Bush walked into his family's kitchen, and grabbed a box of his favorite cereal (also used as his favorite spelling / learning tool.) Alpha Bits cereal helped the pre-teenaged boy to spell one syllable words. On July 6, 1959, George was a man for the first time in his life. Not simply because he was 13 years old. The reason was that he performed a major accomplishment for the first time in his life. Something that his parents had been trying to teach him for many years. HE FINALLY WAS ABLE TO SPELL MULTI-SYLLABLE WORDS, WHILE USING ALPHA-BITS CEREAL.  

Barbara & George Herbert Walker Bush had bought out the entire inventory of Post Alpha Bits from all of the local supermarkets. They were desperate to aquire more "spelling tools" for their precious baby boy. What were they going to do? They had to expand their Alpha-Bits buying radius. The Bush's decided to employ specially trained hired hands to help in their quest to buy enough boxes of Alpha-Bits. Hired hands that were experts in the field of INTIMIDATION. Shoppers were soon afraid to even look at a box of Alpha-Bits, let alone, purchase a box.

The hired hands were instructed to drive up to 300 miles away. The huge shopping area was needed to accomplish the mission of buying enough boxes of George's learning tool, which would hopefully be used to finally teach him to spell "big" words. H.W. had standing orders - MEET YOUR QUOTA, OR DON'T COME BACK ALIVE.

The attempts at learning to spell multi syllable words went on, and on. George just couldn't master the ability to spell BIG words. H. W.  made "W" eat all of his misspelled Alpha-Bit words. The years 1952 -1959 were later known as George's "tubby" years.

A few months prior to George's 13th birthday, he had started to become interested in girls. There was a problem with "W" finding a suitable love interest. The girls were not interested in an overweight guy, who couldn't speak and spell intelligently. 

George needed a plan. He called up his longtime buddies - DICKIE CHENEY & TURD BLOSSOM.  His buddies would help him with creating a plan.

The plan was for the Three Mouseketeers (they all like Mickey Mouse) to use a walkie-talkie taped to the back of George's back. He would only need the apparatus during the 6 hours that he was in school. Dickie & Turd Blossom took turns on the walkie-talkie giving "W" the correct spellings of every word that was bigger than three letters. A magical occurrence happened. You might even call it OSMOSIS. Whatever you call it, George W. Bush was finally able to spell "big" words, and without the help of Dickie & Turd Blossom, or the use of the walkie-talkie.

He still need ALPHA-BITS for his continued learning process (four syllable words.) It was his safety net - SORT OF LIKE A BABY BLANKET.

Posted below is George W. Bush's Alpha Bits test paper, which he personally showed his parents on that DAY OF INFAMY. The day that Georgie became a SPELLER. His parents were so proud. The first thing that Barbara did was to faint. The thud was deafening. George Herbert Walker fought back his tears, and planned the second step in the master plan. Now that "W" could spell - the GOP nomination was next on the agenda.

Who cares if his opponent was smarter - GEORGE STILL HAD THE WALKIE-TALKIE.




A SATIRICAL LOOK AT THE WORST PRESIDENT THIS COUNTRY EVER HAD - GEORGE W. BUSH.






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