The Bush administration should get compliments for their diligent work in reducing the cost of United States beef inspections. The massive bill for human inspectors - wages, sick days, vacations, and pensions could not be continued. The job couldn't be sent offshore to India (normal Republican method) because the beef is located here, and it would be consumed here. The administration thought about a possible solution. Somebody had the brilliant idea - maybe we could cut the pay of the inspectors by 50%. The plan would be to also eliminate all of the beef inspector's vacation and pension payments. G.W. B. loved that idea. 

When the official White House "Suck Up" first brought the idea to Bush, it instantly brought a huge smile to the Decider-In-Chief. He gleefully clapped his hands, and stomped his feet, while repeating the phrase - "GOODY, GOODY, GOODY." George could be a little infantile at times. Unfortunately for Georgie, somebody thought that the Democrats might bitch about it. GEORGIE WAS VERY SAD, AND STARTED TO GET CRANKY. Something had to be done to put a smile on the Cranky Chief Executive again. 

More thinking was needed. Since the Bush administration didn't have an over abundance of deep thinkers, they brought in Fido to help in the problem solving. Fido was a trusted aide to Rumsfeld. The two foot tall canine suggested to G.W. Bush that he and his canine buddies could accomplish the same inspections that the human inspectors were performing, while doing it at 1/10 of the weekly inspector wage. The administration needed all the money they could find to pay for an illegal & unfunded war. Georgie Porgie, ("The Decider-In-Chief") had decided at that very moment that Fido had come up with a FANTASTIC idea, and he was definitely going to use Fido's services to help improve this country.

Fido was promoted from his position of Chief Strategist for the Iraq War, to the lofty position of Canine Secretary of Agriculture / Chief Beef Inspector. In his old position, he was responsible for agreeing to everything that Rumsfeld said, and then accepting FULL RESPONSIBILITY for the consequences. In his new job he would be responsible for inspecting 50% of all of the beef that would be consumed by humans, by sniffing and licking the raw meat. According to Fido, dog saliva is a natural disinfectant. Fido says that dogs are immune to bacteria that would be found on the surface of the beef. Fido personally told G.W.B. that America would be a safer place with the canine beef inspectors watching the food supply. G. W. B. replied, (in a DUMB GUY VOICE) O.K. great. Thank you very much. Can I get you a dog biscuit?

FOR YOUR EDIFICATION: a photo of George's Best Buddy - FIDO, CHIEF U.S. BEEF INSPECTOR



 







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