James Tiberius Kirk will be born in the year 2227. He will be conceived, born and raised in Riverside, Iowa. Captain Kirk confirmed his Iowa roots when he tells Dr. Gillian Taylor, in the movie Star Trek: The Voyage Home, the following infamous line:

Dr. Gillian Taylor: Don't tell me, you're from outer space.
Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space

You may want to hear the words out of the "horse's ass" "horse's mouth." I have posted a 3 second clip of the infamous declaration.



Well, this weekend is the annual celebration of the future-to-be conception of the most famous space cowboy / skirt chaser in the history of the universe (in the future-to-be history.) Riverside, Iowa has opened up it's arms to Captain Kirk, and have proclaimed him to be their "favorite" son (in the not yet born category.)

I visited Riverside a few weeks ago, and I took a few photographs of the Captain Kirk landmarks.

Tiberius's mommy and daddy will be getting "down and nasty" on June 22, 2227. Little Tiberius will be conceived under a pool table, which is located at the Shipyard Bar (2011 name - Murphy's bar.) Posted below is a photo of the 2011 bar, and the future-to-be DNA splattered location, which is located under the pool table.

MURPHY'S BAR (SOON TO BE CHANGED TO SHIPYARD BAR - IN ABOUT 200 YEARS.)



POSSIBLY THE SAME POOL TABLE THAT JIM'S MOMMY & DADDY WILL BE USING.



MURPHY'S BAR WITH THE EXACT SAME FORMICA COUNTERS THAT THE SHIPYARD WILL USE. 200 YEARS FROM NOW. EVERY WAITRESS MISSES THAT SPOT BY THE END OF THE BAR. 250 YEARS OF GUNK HAS PILED UP ON THAT SPOT. IT IS ABOUT TWO INCHES HIGHER THAN THE AREA NEXT TO IT.



PHOTO OF THE PLAQUE COMMEMORATING THE FUTURE CONCEPTION OF JIMMIE TIBERIUS KIRK



LOOK VERY CLOSE FOR POSSIBLE FUTURE-TO-BE DNA STAINS



STREET THAT JIMMIE'S DAD WILL BE USING, AS HE IS RUNNING OUT OF TOWN (AFTER THE DEED)


SIGN THAT WELCOMES VISITORS IS RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE STORE THAT JIM'S DAD WILL BE STOPPING AT, BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO BUY "PROTECTION." HE WILL PAY THEM A SECOND VISIT ON THE WAY OUT OF TOWN.


JIM'S DAD WILL STOP HERE ON THE WAY INTO TOWN TO PURCHASE "PROTECTION", AND WILL RETURN TO THE STORE WHEN HE IS RUNNING OUT OF TOWN (AT A FULL GALLOP.) HE WILL BE FORCED TO EXHIBIT HIS EXTREME DISPLEASURE TO THE STORE OWNER, WHICH WOULD BE ABOUT HIS PREVIOUS STORE PURCHASE OF A LOVE GLOVE. HE HAS TO EXPLAIN TO THE ALPHA CENTAURI / AMERICAN SHOPKEEPER THAT "PROTECTION" IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BREAK APART IN MID STRIDE.

I GUESS THE SHOPKEEPER WILL HAVE TO STOP STORING IT UNDER THE HOT SUN. QUE SERA SERA.

IN 2011, IT WAS THE KUM & GO GAS STATION. IN 2227, IT WILL BE THE KUM & GO HYDROGEN REFILL STATION. UNFORTUNATELY FOR JIMMIE TIBERIUS KIRK'S FUTURE-TO-BE DADDY, HE TOOK THE NAME A LITTLE TOO LITERALLY - PLUS, HE WAS A BAD SPELLER.








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