HERMAN CAIN SUPPOSEDLY RECEIVES TAX ADVICE FROM THE VIDEO GAME SIM CITY - MEET HIS "OTHER ADVISORS"
GOP PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, HERMAN "SUPER BUSINESSMAN EXTRAORDINARE - NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT HE KNOWS, BUT WHO HE KNOWS" CAIN SUPPOSEDLY USES SIM CITY 4 AS HIS TAX ADVISOR. HIS 666 PLAN (HE LIKES TO CALL IT THE 999 PLAN, BUT THAT AIN'T ACCURATE) WAS SUPPOSEDLY "BORROWED" FROM THE COMPUTER GAME.
IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, AS A LOYAL "GOOSE STEPPING" REPUKEICAN - HERMAN'S "SUPPOSED" ECONOMIC "BIBLE" IS THE GAME OF MONOPOLY.
CRUSH THE LITTLE GUY - FORCE HIM INTO BANKRUPTCY, AND DO IT WITH A GIGGLE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HERMAN HAS ZERO KNOWLEDGE ON FOREIGN POLICY
NOT TRUE!
HIS EXTENSIVE "MILITARY" SERVICE IN THE MILTON BRADLEY BRANCH OF THE U.S. MILITARY ALLOWS HIM TO SPEAK WITH A COMMANDING KNOWLEDGE OF NAVAL TACTICS
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GOPers WERE BORN WITH THE NEED TO CONQUER THE WORLD, BUT I WAS WRONG. ACCORDING TO A LITTLE BIRDIE, MR. CAIN HAS LEARNED HIS TACTICS OF "WORLD CONQUEST" FROM THE GAME OF "RISK."
THE RUMOR MILL HAS REPORTEDLY CLAIMED THAT MR. CAIN USED TO SPEND COUNTLESS HOURS "PLAYING" GAMES WITH HIS ECCENTRIC NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. HIS "FRIEND" WAS SUPPOSEDLY A KINDLY WHITE-HAIRED OLD GENT, WHO ALSO LIKED TO DRESS UP IN OLD MILITARY UNIFORMS, AND "PLAY" GAMES WITH ALL OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD MALE CHILDREN.
POSTED BELOW IS A PICTURE OF THE RUMORED "FRIEND" OF MR. CAIN.
ANOTHER OF THE MANY RUMORS THAT HAVE BEEN SWIRLING AROUND:
AFTER MR. CAIN ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT, HE FELT THAT HE NEEDED TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT A SPECIALIZED NATIONAL DEFENSE PLAN, WHICH WOULD BE AIMED AT PROTECTING THIS COUNTRY FROM AN ATTACK FROM OUTER SPACE ALIENS. EVEN THOUGH MOST REPUBLICANS DO NOT BELIEVE IN LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS - SUPPOSEDLY, MR. CAIN KNOWS THERE IS DEFINITELY A "DARK SIDE", AND THERE IS A NEED TO PROTECT AGAINST AN ALIEN (NON-MEXICAN) INVASION.
SURPRISINGLY (OR, NOT SURPRISINGLY), HIS FEELINGS OF A SINISTER FORCE ARE STRONGEST WHEN HE IS STANDING NEAR DICK CHENEY. GO FIGURE?
TOYS R US EMPLOYEES HAVE BEEN SNITCHING ON MR. CAIN'S "FOREIGN POLICY" GAME PURCHASES. THE TOYS R US SNITCHES HAVE SUPPOSEDLY REPORTED THAT HERMAN WAS VERY FOND OF THE FOLLOWING "ADVISORS."
1) RISK STAR WARS
2) STRATEGO - STAR WARS
THE TOYS R US GRAPEVINE SUPPOSEDLY REPORTS THAT HE WAS SO FOND OF THE BOARD GAMES - HE PURCHASED TENS OF THOUSANDS OF EACH OF HIS ANTI-ALIEN INVASION BOARD GAME "ADVISORS."
I HAVE HEARD THAT HUNDREDS OF EXTRA EMPLOYEES WERE GIVEN OVERTIME TO CHECKOUT THE ORDER. I GUESS THE GOPers REALLY ARE JOB CREATORS (LOW WAGE, NO BENEFIT, AND WILLING TO EXPLOIT / LAY OFF ON A DIME, TYPE OF JOB.)
I ASSUME THAT HERMAN FEELS THAT AS SOON AS HE IS ELECTED PRESIDENT, HE WILL NEED TO START THE TRAINING OF OUR MILITARY ON THE TACTICS OF DEFEATING DARTH VADER.
IMMEDIATELY IS THE KEY WORD. THE LESSONS WILL BEGIN ON JANUARY 20, 2013 - 4 P.M. SHARP.
POSTED BELOW ARE MR. HERMAN CAIN'S TWO MAIN ANTI-ALIEN INVASION "ADVISORS," ACCORDING TO THE WALMART / TOYS R US TOLL FREE RUMOR MILL.
ECONOMIC / TAX ISSUES, AND ANTI-ALIEN INVASION TACTICS ARE MR. CAIN'S STONG SUIT. SUPPOSEDLY, HE DOESN'T GIVE A "RAT'S ASS" ABOUT DOMESTIC ISSUES. THE TROUBLE IS. HE NEEDS TO PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED IN DOMESTIC ISSUES IN ORDER TO GET THE IDIOT "INDEPENDENT FENCE SITTERS" (YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE WITH SPLINTERS UP THEIR BUTTS) TO VOTE FOR HIM. HE DECIDED TO CHOOSE AN "ADVISOR THAT COULD GIVE AN ANSWER TO A HARD DOMESTIC PROBLEM AS EASILY AS SPINNING A WHEEL.
NO MATTER IF IT IS WRONG FOR THE COUNTRY, OR RIGHT FOR THE COUNTRY, MR. CAIN WILL STICK TO THE DECISION OF HIS "ADVISORS" WHEEL. NEVER ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG, OR YOUR "ADVISOR" WAS WRONG.
HERMAN HAS ALWAYS LOVED THE SIMPSONS TV SHOW (HERMAN'S TV ONLY RECEIVES THE FOX OWNED STATIONS), AND HE DECIDED TO PURCHASE A FEW (ACCORDING TO RUMORS CIRCULATING AT K-MART, TOYS R US, WALMART, AMAZON.COM AND THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE) GAMES OF THE SPIN-THE-WHEEL CHILDHOOD FAVORITE GAME:
SIMPSONS - THE GAME OF LIFE
(SUPPOSEDLY, HE FEELS THE HOMERS & HERMANS SHOULD STICK TOGETHER)
1% MILLIONAIRES - 99% POOR HOUSE - HERMAN'S FANTASY LIFE IN A BOX.
LITTLE BIRDIES OUTSIDE OF HERMAN CAIN'S WINDOW HAVE HEARD THE HERMAN SIMPSON D'OH SONG BEING PLAYED OVER, AND OVER. SUPPOSEDLY, HE IS PRACTICING HIS HOMER SIMPSON D'OH PHRASE FOR WHEN HE SCREWS UP
BIG TIME,
AFTER HE IS ELECTED TO THE MOST POWERFUL
"PIZZA MAKING JOB IN AMERICA."
________________________________________________________________________
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LISTEN TO HERMAN'S / HOMER'S D'OH SONG
CLICK THE WHITE ARROW
Tweet
IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, AS A LOYAL "GOOSE STEPPING" REPUKEICAN - HERMAN'S "SUPPOSED" ECONOMIC "BIBLE" IS THE GAME OF MONOPOLY.
CRUSH THE LITTLE GUY - FORCE HIM INTO BANKRUPTCY, AND DO IT WITH A GIGGLE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HERMAN HAS ZERO KNOWLEDGE ON FOREIGN POLICY
NOT TRUE!
HIS EXTENSIVE "MILITARY" SERVICE IN THE MILTON BRADLEY BRANCH OF THE U.S. MILITARY ALLOWS HIM TO SPEAK WITH A COMMANDING KNOWLEDGE OF NAVAL TACTICS
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GOPers WERE BORN WITH THE NEED TO CONQUER THE WORLD, BUT I WAS WRONG. ACCORDING TO A LITTLE BIRDIE, MR. CAIN HAS LEARNED HIS TACTICS OF "WORLD CONQUEST" FROM THE GAME OF "RISK."
THE RUMOR MILL HAS REPORTEDLY CLAIMED THAT MR. CAIN USED TO SPEND COUNTLESS HOURS "PLAYING" GAMES WITH HIS ECCENTRIC NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. HIS "FRIEND" WAS SUPPOSEDLY A KINDLY WHITE-HAIRED OLD GENT, WHO ALSO LIKED TO DRESS UP IN OLD MILITARY UNIFORMS, AND "PLAY" GAMES WITH ALL OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD MALE CHILDREN.
POSTED BELOW IS A PICTURE OF THE RUMORED "FRIEND" OF MR. CAIN.
ANOTHER OF THE MANY RUMORS THAT HAVE BEEN SWIRLING AROUND:
AFTER MR. CAIN ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT, HE FELT THAT HE NEEDED TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT A SPECIALIZED NATIONAL DEFENSE PLAN, WHICH WOULD BE AIMED AT PROTECTING THIS COUNTRY FROM AN ATTACK FROM OUTER SPACE ALIENS. EVEN THOUGH MOST REPUBLICANS DO NOT BELIEVE IN LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS - SUPPOSEDLY, MR. CAIN KNOWS THERE IS DEFINITELY A "DARK SIDE", AND THERE IS A NEED TO PROTECT AGAINST AN ALIEN (NON-MEXICAN) INVASION.
SURPRISINGLY (OR, NOT SURPRISINGLY), HIS FEELINGS OF A SINISTER FORCE ARE STRONGEST WHEN HE IS STANDING NEAR DICK CHENEY. GO FIGURE?
TOYS R US EMPLOYEES HAVE BEEN SNITCHING ON MR. CAIN'S "FOREIGN POLICY" GAME PURCHASES. THE TOYS R US SNITCHES HAVE SUPPOSEDLY REPORTED THAT HERMAN WAS VERY FOND OF THE FOLLOWING "ADVISORS."
1) RISK STAR WARS
2) STRATEGO - STAR WARS
THE TOYS R US GRAPEVINE SUPPOSEDLY REPORTS THAT HE WAS SO FOND OF THE BOARD GAMES - HE PURCHASED TENS OF THOUSANDS OF EACH OF HIS ANTI-ALIEN INVASION BOARD GAME "ADVISORS."
I HAVE HEARD THAT HUNDREDS OF EXTRA EMPLOYEES WERE GIVEN OVERTIME TO CHECKOUT THE ORDER. I GUESS THE GOPers REALLY ARE JOB CREATORS (LOW WAGE, NO BENEFIT, AND WILLING TO EXPLOIT / LAY OFF ON A DIME, TYPE OF JOB.)
I ASSUME THAT HERMAN FEELS THAT AS SOON AS HE IS ELECTED PRESIDENT, HE WILL NEED TO START THE TRAINING OF OUR MILITARY ON THE TACTICS OF DEFEATING DARTH VADER.
IMMEDIATELY IS THE KEY WORD. THE LESSONS WILL BEGIN ON JANUARY 20, 2013 - 4 P.M. SHARP.
POSTED BELOW ARE MR. HERMAN CAIN'S TWO MAIN ANTI-ALIEN INVASION "ADVISORS," ACCORDING TO THE WALMART / TOYS R US TOLL FREE RUMOR MILL.
ECONOMIC / TAX ISSUES, AND ANTI-ALIEN INVASION TACTICS ARE MR. CAIN'S STONG SUIT. SUPPOSEDLY, HE DOESN'T GIVE A "RAT'S ASS" ABOUT DOMESTIC ISSUES. THE TROUBLE IS. HE NEEDS TO PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED IN DOMESTIC ISSUES IN ORDER TO GET THE IDIOT "INDEPENDENT FENCE SITTERS" (YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE WITH SPLINTERS UP THEIR BUTTS) TO VOTE FOR HIM. HE DECIDED TO CHOOSE AN "ADVISOR THAT COULD GIVE AN ANSWER TO A HARD DOMESTIC PROBLEM AS EASILY AS SPINNING A WHEEL.
NO MATTER IF IT IS WRONG FOR THE COUNTRY, OR RIGHT FOR THE COUNTRY, MR. CAIN WILL STICK TO THE DECISION OF HIS "ADVISORS" WHEEL. NEVER ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG, OR YOUR "ADVISOR" WAS WRONG.
HERMAN HAS ALWAYS LOVED THE SIMPSONS TV SHOW (HERMAN'S TV ONLY RECEIVES THE FOX OWNED STATIONS), AND HE DECIDED TO PURCHASE A FEW (ACCORDING TO RUMORS CIRCULATING AT K-MART, TOYS R US, WALMART, AMAZON.COM AND THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE) GAMES OF THE SPIN-THE-WHEEL CHILDHOOD FAVORITE GAME:
SIMPSONS - THE GAME OF LIFE
(SUPPOSEDLY, HE FEELS THE HOMERS & HERMANS SHOULD STICK TOGETHER)
1% MILLIONAIRES - 99% POOR HOUSE - HERMAN'S FANTASY LIFE IN A BOX.
LITTLE BIRDIES OUTSIDE OF HERMAN CAIN'S WINDOW HAVE HEARD THE HERMAN SIMPSON D'OH SONG BEING PLAYED OVER, AND OVER. SUPPOSEDLY, HE IS PRACTICING HIS HOMER SIMPSON D'OH PHRASE FOR WHEN HE SCREWS UP
BIG TIME,
AFTER HE IS ELECTED TO THE MOST POWERFUL
"PIZZA MAKING JOB IN AMERICA."
________________________________________________________________________
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO LISTEN TO HERMAN'S / HOMER'S D'OH SONG
CLICK THE WHITE ARROW
Tweet
Posted by Ron D at 10/19/2011 6:56 AM 
Categories: Pop Culture, Politics, Parody, toys, Humorous
Tags: humor Pop Culture pop culture celebrity politics nostalgic sarcasm cartoon satire parody political GOP Republican Toys Animation Cartoon video game board game Herman Cain
Categories: Pop Culture, Politics, Parody, toys, Humorous
Tags: humor Pop Culture pop culture celebrity politics nostalgic sarcasm cartoon satire parody political GOP Republican Toys Animation Cartoon video game board game Herman Cain
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